


necklace

by starryeos



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Dialogue Heavy, Exams, M/M, Miscommunication, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeos/pseuds/starryeos
Summary: Yeosang and San break up, and Yeosang is still very much in love with San.It doesn’t help that they’re also flatmates.
Relationships: Choi San/Kang Yeosang
Comments: 18
Kudos: 141





	necklace

Yeosang doesn’t understand where it went wrong. They were best friends for three years, a couple for almost two of those years. Why did everything suddenly fall apart? He really doesn’t understand.

Yeosang is sat at his desk, his knees brought up to his chest. He chews on his lower lip as he urges the tears welling up in his eyes not to fall. He mentally curses at himself for being so weak; curses at himself for crying nonstop the past week.

He looks at the open book laid out in front of him. He takes a deep breath before moving his feet to the floor and pulls himself closer to his desk.

He wills himself to read.

He’s only able to read one paragraph and highlight half a sentence before his vision is blurred by tears again. The boy almost screams out in frustration and lays his head in his book, squeezing his eyes shut.

A few minutes later, there’s a knock at his door. He quickly uprights himself and rubs at his eyes harshly.

“Come in,” Yeosang tries to say, but it comes out in a whisper.

The door opens and it’s Wooyoung, which Yeosang expected because since San and him broke up last week, they’ve been avoiding each other like the plague.

Wooyoung takes one look at Yeosang, sitting at his desk with an oversized hoodie, hood up as he tries to study with only his desk lamp on at nine in the evening, and sighs, “Yeosang.”

“Hmm,” the older boy hums, not turning his chair to face his best friend as he takes a seat on his bed.

“Just talk to him,” Wooyoung pleads. “I beg you.”

Yeosang knows the boy means no harm, that he’s probably sad seeing his best friend like this, but it doesn’t stop Yeosang from getting mad.

“Why should I, Wooyoung?” He grits his teeth. “He broke up with me with no explanation. I begged him for one, to talk to me and he refused.”

Wooyoung opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again, at a loss for words. They’re both quiet for a few minutes.

“I really don’t get it,” the younger boy finally speaks, frustrated. “Both of you are obviously hurting right now, you miss each other, so wouldn’t it make sense to just _talk_ to each other?”

Wooyoung’s words cause anger to rise up in Yeosang’s chest and he opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again before closing his eyes to stop tears from forming again. He’s not going to take his hurt and anger out on his best friend, and he refuses to believe San misses him when he broke up with him with no explanation.

“What do you need, Wooyoungie?” Yeosang’s voice is soft and he just feels tired.

“Oh, right,” Wooyoung mutters, remembering he came to ask Yeosang something. “I ordered food so come down and eat. I also need to talk to you and San about something. It’s important and not about your relationship or breakup so please, please do me a favour and come downstairs.”

Yeosang is ready to refuse and without even being able to see him, but Wooyoung realises, “Please, Sangie, it’s important and stressing me out.”

Wooyoung’s desperate tone of voice is what makes him agree, “Fine.”

The younger boy gets up and walks over to Yeosang, wrapping his arms around the older boy’s shoulders from behind. Wooyoung bends down and presses their cheeks together before he places a kiss on Yeosang’s head.

“I love you, you know that, right?”

Yeosang sighs shakily before nodding, a small smile on his lips, “I know.”

Wooyoung is pleased and he pulls away. “Come down and eat, okay?”

Yeosang just nods again as the boy leaves his room.

The blond-haired boy mentally prepares himself to see San again after avoiding him the past few days as he caps his highlighter. He takes a deep breath before pushing himself away from his desk and standing up. Yeosang moves to his bedroom door and pulls it open, making his way to the living room.

Yeosang sees San and Wooyoung are already there, San sat on the floor in front of the coffee table as Wooyoung sits on the sofa opposite. They’re making their plates and Yeosang’s breath catches in his throat and a lump forms there. He’s not ready to see San again despite living in the same house.

The older boy swallows, urging the lump to disappear when Wooyoung sees him.

“Yeosangie,” Wooyoung says softly, a comforting smile on his face. He holds out the plate he’s already filled with food and wooden chopsticks, “Come take your plate.”

Yeosang notices that San doesn’t look up, even after hearing Wooyoung call his name, eyes focused on the food in front of him and Yeosang can feel his heart ache a little.

He misses San so much.

Slowly walking into the living room, he sits down beside Wooyoung, making sure he’s not opposite his ex and takes the plate from Wooyoung’s hand.

Wooyoung busies himself with making a plate for himself.

Yeosang also decides to avoid looking at San as he balances his plate on his lap so he can separate his disposable wooden chopsticks. Once he’s done that, he picks up some noodles and takes a bite.

But even though he tries not to look at the younger boy, he can’t help himself. He glances at the boy without lifting his head. San’s not eating, eyes focused on Yeosang, but when Yeosang catches his eye, the younger quickly looks away.

Yeosang looks down again and bites his lip, begging for no tears to fall. He doesn’t want to cry in front of San. He doesn’t want to cry at all. Why is he being so _weak?_

Wooyoung catches the small moment between the two and sighs out loud, but doesn’t say anything. They eat in silence, the atmosphere around them awkward and tense.

When they’re done eating and tidied up, Wooyoung makes sure neither of his two best friends retreat to their room.

“Okay, I need to talk to you two about something.”

Yeosang is looking at Wooyoung, but he sees San nod from the corner of his eye.

“It’s about the flat,” Wooyoung starts. “It’s April now and the lease on the flat expires at the start of September.”

Yeosang’s eyes widen suddenly, realising what Wooyoung is going to say.

“We can only afford rent and everything because there’s three of us,” Wooyoung looks between his best friends. “I know you guys broke up, but you need to handle being around each other until the new school year starts,” Wooyoung tells them straight out, no sugar-coating.

The oldest starts silently panicking. The breakup being so fresh, he didn’t think about the lease, he thought that once exams were over, he could move out. He thought he only needed to get through exams and then he could apply for student accommodation for the next year, maybe ask Jongho if he wanted to look for a flat together for his final year.

“ _Shit,_ ” San speaks first. “You’re right.”

Yeosang knows the words probably mean nothing and he’s thinking too much into it, but he feels hurt rush through him. It’s like San was planning on leaving. Or maybe asking Yeosang to move out, the worst part of him thinks. Yeosang knows both options are unreasonable. All three of their names are on the lease; they’re in a contract.

Wooyoung nods, “So all I’m asking you is that you both tough it out until September. Avoid each other if you want, but please don’t let the rent fall on me alone or only two of us. We won’t be able afford everything unless we all do our part.”

They were supposed to spend the summer together, all eight of them, that’s why they took out the lease until September, most likely renewing for their final year.

Another reason was San and Yeosang’s anniversary was in June, on Yeosang’s birthday to be exact. They were supposed to celebrate it.

But all Yeosang wants to do now is complete his exams and go home to his parents’ house. He doesn’t want to be around San for another five months, constantly being reminded that they were no longer together.

He needs to stay in Seoul to work so he can afford the rent.

“I know it’s not ideal, but we need to make rent.”

Yeosang looks up to glance at San and then moves his gaze to Wooyoung so he’s not caught and sighs, “I understand. Don’t stress, okay, Wooyoung?”

Wooyoung smiles softly at Yeosang and then looks at San expectantly.

San is frowning, but nods, “Okay.”

They all fall silent, no one speaking, the air thick.

“I love you both,” Wooyoung suddenly says. “So much. I’ll always be here for you both.”

Yeosang has never doubted that he would.

The older boy is the first to go to his room, not being able to handle being in the same room as San anymore.

Not much time has passed, the time only half nine in the evening.

Even so, Yeosang tidies away his books and grabs some clean pyjamas from his wardrobe, leaving his room to get into the shower. Once he’s showered and brushed his teeth, he walks back into his room to do his skincare and finally get into bed.

He’s not able to sleep for another two hours which he spends scrolling on his phone. He hears San and Wooyoung wash up while he’s awake, their voices muffled by the walls. San is first to wash up and Wooyoung an hour later since Wooyoung has never been able to sleep any time before twelve.

Yeosang breathes out shakily as he turns his body to face the wall when he hears San come out of the shower. The older boy’s bed feels too big without San with him, despite being a single. Though the bed is small, San somehow always fit.

He wonders if San is okay, if he misses Yeosang like Yeosang misses him when he’s in bed without the other.

Yeosang doesn’t realise he’s crying until the pillow under his head feels wet against his cheek and he’s angry. He throws the pillow to the floor and he wants to scream.

How did everything become so messy?

*******

It’s Yeosang’s day off today and he knows he has to spend it studying, his exams are in a month and he’s finally finished all of his assignments so he’s free to just study without stressing about finishing his essays and presentations.

The boy makes his way downstairs and into the kitchen after he washes up and gets dressed. Wooyoung is sat at the kitchen table, eating cereal as he scrolls through his phone. Yeosang notices San isn’t in the kitchen and thinks that he’s probably getting dressed or still asleep.

“Morning,” Wooyoung mumbles, eyes not leaving his phone. “Sleep okay?”

Yeosang, in fact, did not sleep okay at all, but he doesn’t say that.

“Hey,” he sighs. “I guess.”

This causes the younger of the two to look up and stare at the older boy. He raises an eyebrow, but Yeosang ignores him and goes over to the cupboard to pull out a bowl and he busies himself with making a bowl of cereal.

Wooyoung doesn’t comment any further and Yeosang takes the seat across from him.

“What are you doing today?” The older boy asks as he takes a bite of his cereal. “Do you wanna study together?”

Wooyoung frowns at Yeosang speak with his mouth full, “You’re gross.”

Yeosang pouts angrily, “You’re one to speak.”

This causes Wooyoung to smile at the other boy and reaches over to pat his free hand.

“So?” Yeosang asks again.

“Oh,” Wooyoung’s smile drops from his lips, but his tone is hopeful with his next few words. “San asked me to study with him, but you’re free to join us?”

The older boy pauses mid-bite, but then slowly pulls the spoon from his mouth, “I’m good. Thanks for offering though.”

“Yeosang,” Wooyoung sighs.

Yeosang doesn’t comment any further so Wooyoung doesn’t push it. They spend breakfast talking about anything but San.

When Yeosang has finished his breakfast, and washed his bowl and spoon, he makes his way upstairs and into his room. He pulls up Jongho’s contact as he sits on his bed.

**_Yeosang  
_ ** _wanna study together?_

Jongho replies a few minutes later.

**_Jongho  
_ ** _only if u buy me breakfast_

 **_Yeosang  
_ ** _eat before coming >:( _

**_Jongho  
_ ** _hyung  
_ _i am a poor student  
_ _i cannot afford breakfast_

 **_Yeosang  
_ ** _im literally a student too_

 **_Jongho  
_ ** _...  
_ _just buy me breakfast pls_

 **_Yeosang  
_ ** _i'll buy u an americano and one item from the bakery_

 **_Jongho  
_ ** _that’s all i need  
_ _thanks hyung  
_ _this is why ur my favourite_

 **_Yeosang  
_ ** _no  
_ _im your favourite cos u just love me the most_

 **_Jongho  
_ ** _yeah whatever  
_ _meet me in half an hour  
_ _at the starbucks outside campus  
_ _go earlier if u can to find us a table_

 **_Yeosang  
_ ** _okayy  
_ _see u soon_

Yeosang puts his phone on his bedside table and walks over to his desk. He picks up his textbook, notebook and laptop, slipping them into his backpack. He makes sure he has all of his stationery, and his phone and laptop chargers before shutting his bag closed.

Instead of waiting in the house, Yeosang decides to do as Jongho asked and find a table at Starbucks. It’s almost exam season so the place will be packed, also considering the fact it’s just outside campus. He can just wait for Jongho at the coffee shop; it’s a fifteen-minute walk there anyway.

The boy slips on his fluffy, white jacket and grabs his bag along with his phone. He makes his way downstairs and puts on his shoes before walking into the kitchen. This time, San is at the kitchen table, dressed and ready to go out. The younger boy stares at nothing as he eats his breakfast.

Yeosang’s breath hitches, not expecting to see him there, but he quickly composes himself and opens the fridge to grab his water bottle he put in the evening before, and then he’s out of the kitchen in a second, not even glancing at San.

It takes Yeosang the fifteen minutes plus a few more to get to the Starbucks Jongho said to meet at and like expected, it’s busy. As the boy walks in, he sees there aren’t any tables free, so he decides to buy a frappuccino and wait for any tables to free up.

“Hi, what would you like?” The barista asks once Yeosang’s at the front of the queue.

Yeosang moves his stare from looking around the coffee shop to look at the barista, “Uh, a tall mocha frappuccino, please.”

The barista takes a cup and writes Yeosang’s order on it, asking if he wants whipped cream, to which the boy replies yes to and then tells the barista his name when he’s requested. After passing off the cup and pressing buttons on the screen, Yeosang is told the amount he needs to pay.

It takes almost five minutes for his drink to be ready, considering how busy the shop is. It’s the weekend so there’s no one rushing to get their cup of coffee before getting to work, it’s mostly just students.

“Yeosang!”

The boy slowly pushes forward past the people waiting to get their drink and grabs his drink and straw with a thank you.

When Yeosang has moved away from the crowd and is putting the straw into the drink, he sees a table of two free up by the window of the shop. His eyes widen as he quickly rushes to the table before anyone gets there.

He makes it just in time before two girls are just about to. He avoids their eyes, mumbling a small apology as he sits down. Yeosang pulls out his phone and sees a message from Jongho telling him he’s almost there. The boy doesn’t reply, seeing no need to.

He’s startled by a hand on his shoulder a few minutes later and he looks up to see his youngest best friend.

“Hey,” Yeosang smiles.

“Hi,” Jongho pouts as he places his bag on the ground and takes a seat, pointing. “You already got a drink.”

“Ah, sorry...” the older boy smiles sheepishly. “There were no free tables and you know I’m awkward when I’m standing alone doing nothing.”

Jongho smiles softly and shakes his head, “Yeah, it’s okay, hyung.”

Yeosang pulls his bag onto the table and pulls out his wallet, passing his card to Jongho, “Order whatever you want.”

The younger boy grins and leaves the table with a thank you.

While waiting for Jongho, the older boy pulls his bag onto the table, making sure he doesn’t knock over his drink as he does so. He pulls out his laptop and his notebook full of lecture and seminar notes. There’s barely any space on the table, but he makes it work as he places his bag back by his feet.

He opens his laptop and logs in.

He’s made typed notes all throughout university, but to get the information into his head before his exams, he rewrites the typed notes again, the second time by hand.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jongho is back with his americano and a pain au chocolat and he passes Yeosang his card back. “I’ll treat you next time, promise.”

Yeosang takes his card, pocketing it and shakes his head, smiling, “I’m your hyung, it’s my job to treat you.”

“Not when you’re poor and working two jobs to make payments on time,” the younger points out, taking a seat opposite Yeosang.

Yeosang shrugs, speaking the next few words softly, “The second job was only for San.”

“Hmm?” Jongho takes a bite of his pastry, a questioning look on his face.

The older shakes his head, “Nothing. How many exams do you have?”

The younger boy places his pastry back on his plate and pulls out his planner, flicking through it. He stops at a specific page and says, “Three.”

“Shouldn’t you have that memorised by now?”

“I do,” says the brown-haired boy. “I was just making sure. I’m really scared that I might forget the dates they’re on and miss the exams.”

“Makes sense,” Yeosang leans over, tearing some of the chocolate pastry and popping it into his mouth. He dusts off the pastry crumbs his fingers.

They sit in silence for almost half an hour, just the sound of the people in the coffee shop surrounding them as they make progress on their studying. Yeosang’s thankful for the silence, Jongho not questioning him about what’s happening with San. Though Jongho already knows most of it, Yeosang’s grateful that the younger doesn’t push for updates, letting the older boy tell him in his own time.

However, Jongho breaks the silence between them soon after, losing his focus as he says, “I’m quitting uni.”

Yeosang raises an eyebrow at the younger briefly before looking back at his notebook, finishing off the sentence he was writing.

“But seriously,” the younger whines. “I’m so worried for these exams.”

“It’s the same as high school, Jjong,” the older boy comforts. “Make sure you’ve studied and you’re prepared, and you’ll be okay.”

Jongho speaks again, but Yeosang suddenly can’t focus, eyes drifting to the two boys who have just entered the coffee shop, talking amongst themselves. His eyes focus on San and Wooyoung, the pair laughing as they walk in.

San looks around the shop, for a free table and his eyes land on Yeosang.

“Hyung?” The younger boy waves a hand in front of him.

“Can we leave?” Yeosang says frantically, closing his laptop, rushing to get everything into his bag. He looks between San and his youngest friend, “ _Now,_ Jongho.”

Jongho frowns, eyebrows furrowing as he looks behind him and his eyes widen when he sees San and Wooyoung. San continues looking at Yeosang as Wooyoung seems to be panicking, trying to pull San away.

Yeosang mentally notes that he should thank Wooyoung later for trying to get him out of an uncomfortable situation.

The younger finally looks back at his best friend before nodding and closing his laptop, placing his things into his bag. Yeosang moves first, leaving Jongho behind as he quickly exits the shop, eyes no longer on San, but San watches.

When Jongho has his bag on, he grabs the empty cups of coffee to dispose of as he leaves the shop, Yeosang forgetting to in his haste to leave.

“Hey, Jongho,” San grins when the boy passes him to get to the bin, patting him on the back.

“Hi, hyungs,” Jongho smiles back, greeting both boys as he throws away the cups in his hand. “I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

The younger boy leaves before either boy can bid him goodbye, too. Jongho isn’t really on bad terms with either of them, they are his best friends after all, but he’s known Yeosang longer so he feels like he needs to be beside Yeosang more, to help him through whatever hurt he’s going through; help him with whatever he can. Jongho knows, otherwise, the older boy will just silently suffer.

“Let’s go back to your dorm,” Yeosang says when Jongho finally makes it outside.

He just nods.

When they’re finally at the younger’s dorm, they’re lucky to find that Jongho’s roommate isn’t there.

Yeosang sighs, leaving his bag at the foot of his best friend’s bed as he flops down face first into it.

“Hyung?” Jongho cautiously calls, sitting on the edge of his bed, placing a hand onto Yeosang’s back. “Are you okay?”

The older, blond-haired boy sighs into Jongho’s pillow before rolling so he’s facing the ceiling, “Not really?” The statement comes out more of a question.

The younger knows he needs to tread carefully, not wanting to reopen any healing wounds, but he needs to know, “Did anything else happen recently?”

Yeosang is quiet for a while, staring at the ceiling. He thinks about the fact that he needs to be around someone he loves so much, but is no longer his, for the next few months, and this causes tears to well up in his eyes.

He bites his lower lip hard and squeezes his eyes shut, willing the tears to stop. Why is he crying over this? _Why is he always crying?_

“Hyung?”

Yeosang laughs, humourless and short, “I have to live with the love of my life who is no longer mine for another half year.”

*******

Yeosang works two jobs. Three days of the week at a small, independent cafe which paid surprisingly well, and the weekend, he works a retail job, which he hates. Social anxiety and retail don’t work well together, but the boy worked hard to overcome whatever fear he could to keep the job. Yeosang still gets scared sometimes, yes. He also panics quite a bit, but he thinks he’s doing okay.

He’s decided to quit this week anyway.

“Wait here while I go get my stuff,” Yeosang tells Jongho, who’s been flitting around the shop for at least an hour now, waiting for the older boy to get off work.

“Did you really quit?” Jongho asks, frowning despite actually being glad. He just needs confirmation now.

The blond-haired boy nods, “I needed two jobs to buy a gift for San for our anniversary while being able to keep up with rent. We’ve broken up now, and I have enough for the gift I was planning to buy, anyway.”

The younger boy smiles, happy that his hyung will be less busy and less stressed during the lead up to exams. Sure, he’ll still be super stressed, but at least he has one less thing to worry about.

“Hurry up,” he calls as Yeosang leaves him standing alone, making his way into the back to get his things.

“I’ll be quick,” the older boy calls back.

Yeosang takes a good ten minutes to come back with his bag slung over a shoulder and his jacket over his arm.

“It’s windy today, you’ll get cold,” Jongho points to the jacket Yeosang is holding.

“I’ll wear it in a bit,” Yeosang informs the younger boy. “Sorry for taking so long, my manager tried to convince me to stay.”

“I’m glad you’re not.”

Yeosang smiles as the two boys step out of the shop, the cool breeze hitting him in the face. The breeze is relaxing to him, having worked in a busy shop for the past six hours.

“What are you gonna do with the money you saved?” Jongho suddenly asks as they make their way to the train station.

Yeosang thought long and hard about what to do with the money. Put it away for the future possibly. Keep it for rent even. But the boy felt sad spending the money on anything but what he saved it for, so he ultimately decided to buy the gift he was going to for San anyway. It’s expensive, but it means something to San and it felt wrong not purchasing the item.

“I’m still gonna buy the gift,” Yeosang states and then carries on, not letting Jongho say anything before he finished. “It would’ve been something special to San so it feels wrong spending it on other things. I probably won’t give it to him either, just keep it in a box.”

“Hyung.”

“I know, Jjong,” the older boy says sadly. “But understand where I’m coming from.”

Jongho doesn’t say anything further, the frown on his face deepening. He finally sighs, asking, “It’s the necklace, right? The same one as his grandmother’s?” Yeosang had mentioned it in passing to Jongho when he had first gotten his second job.

Yeosang nods, “I have to get it made, but I have a picture of the original so it should be easy. I’m planning to get it engraved, too. It’s not the same, it’ll never be the same, but I thought it’d make him happy. A happy reminder of his grandparents, something that was taken from him by his selfish aunt. I know I won’t give it to him, but I’ll feel better knowing I used the money I saved for it, on it.”

“I can’t believe his aunt sold what his grandmother left for him when she died,” the younger boy says through gritted teeth. “Couldn’t they have taken her to court?”

Jongho wasn’t there when San’s grandmother passed away, only joining the university this year as a first year student, but since the anniversary of her death just recently passed in the winter, Jongho came to know the story.

The other six of their group, however, spent most of the winter the year before, once everyone was back at university, comforting San, making sure to take his mind off everything most of the time.

This year, it was mainly Yeosang and Wooyoung with San through the winter.

The older shakes his head, “His grandmother didn’t leave a will, more so just her saying the necklace should go to San and the matching ring to his sister while everyone else could divide everything else.”

San and his older sister grew up with his grandparents. His grandfather died while he was still a child so it was him, his sister and his grandmother for a long time. The boy always missed his grandfather so his grandmother let him wear a necklace gifted from his grandfather to her on their wedding, from time to time. She always told San that having the necklace always comforted her, that it let her know her late husband was close. Because of this, San found comfort in the necklace, too, and was promised the piece of jewelry when his grandmother passed.

When the time finally came, San was in university, unable to go home until the day of the funeral due to the first semester’s exams. His grandmother’s house was cleared out by his parents, and his aunts and uncles.

San asked his mother about the necklace a few days later and his mother kept on telling him he’d get it until finally, he was told his aunt had sold it along with the ring that was supposed to go to his sister. They were both expensive pieces of jewelry and his struggling aunt had sold them to help pay whatever bills it’d pay.

The boy didn’t feel any sympathy for his aunt, none whatsoever. That necklace was his, the ring his sister’s; the last bits of his grandfather and his grandmother.

This finally led to San cutting off contact with most of his family, other than his parents and sister. His parents had tried to get what rightfully belonged to him and his sister, but were dissuaded by San’s other aunts and uncles, telling his parents that his grandmother would’ve wanted her daughter to sell the jewelry to help with her bills.

San is pretty sure, however, that his grandmother wanted the necklace and ring to go to him and his sister. It was _their_ source of comfort.

Yeosang and Jongho get to the jeweler's Yeosang’s mother had recommended him, saying that they’ve been in business for many years with many good reviews, and that Yeosang’s uncle had an engagement ring made there since they also make anything to request.

“Hello, boys. How can I help you?” A woman who looks to be in her sixties questions the two boys, who were standing off to the side as they waited for someone.

Yeosang walks closer to the counter as Jongho stays standing off to the side, and pulls out his phone. He scrolls through his camera roll until he gets to a selfie when Wooyoung, San and him were in high school, San having moved to their hometown with his grandmother and sister, where San is wearing the necklace.

He zooms in, showing the picture to the woman, “Would I be able to have this made?”

The woman pulls her glasses from the top of her head and puts it on, taking the phone from Yeosang’s hand. Luckily, the picture is somewhat clear and as she zooms into the picture further, she nods, “Yes, we can. It’ll take at least two weeks. Would you be able to send the picture to me? I’ll tell you the email.”

Yeosang nods as he quickly writes down the email as the woman tells him. He attaches the picture with his name and sends it.

“Okay, can I take note of what material and what stone you want on the necklace? I can see it’s a red stone, but is it a garnet? Ruby?”

“Uh, white gold, please,” the blond-haired boy speaks. “And it’s the July birthstone. Ruby, I think?”

San was born in the month as his grandmother so they’ve always had a connection since the day the boy was born.

“Ruby, indeed,” the woman smiles as she writes down the information under Yeosang’s name. She looks up, “Length?”

“A necklace’s standard length, I guess?”

The woman laughs, “I’ll guess the length by eye. Is there anything else you’d like done with it? A specific personalisation maybe?”

Yeosang’s eyes widen and he nods. He almost forgot that he wanted to get it engraved.

“Can I have this engraved on the back?” Yeosang asks for a pen and some paper and the woman hands over what she was writing on. Yeosang notes down what he wants engraved, his and San’s initials.

The woman takes back the book and reads what Yeosang has written and smiles knowingly, “We’ll need to take a deposit, if that’s okay. And if you leave me your phone number, I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

Yeosang nods and tells her his contact information, and then he’s told the price of the necklace. Yeosang also pays the deposit amount before thanking the woman and leaving the shop, Jongho following close behind.

“Everything sorted?” Jongho asks, falling into step beside Yeosang as they walk back to the train station to finally get a late lunch.

Yeosang nods, “Hopefully it looks similar to the original.”

*******

“Please, Sangie,” Wooyoung whines as he lays on the older’s bed, laying over the boy.

Yeosang pushes at Wooyoung’s side, “Get off me, you big lump.”

Instead of doing as told, Wooyoung moves further up his best friend’s bed, coming almost face-to-face with the blond boy, only his phone separating them, so the younger decides to grab the phone and toss it to the end of the bed. He looks at Yeosang, a few inches away from his face, pouting.

“You could’ve broken my phone!”

“I literally threw it on the bed! The bed is soft!”

Yeosang sighs, pushing Wooyoung’s face away from his. He was too close to his liking.

“Yeosangie,” the younger whines as he’s pushed to the side. Wooyoung lays down beside his best friend on his side, still looking at Yeosang, “It’ll be fun. All of us are going. And it’s a nice stress-relief just before exams.”

A third year student was holding a party just before exams, a week before to be exact, like he did the year before. Most of the university ended up attending, wanting one night free of studying and exam stress.

The older boy sits up and reaches for his phone that Wooyoung threw earlier. He picks it up and puts it on his bedside table.

“I really don’t wanna, Woo,” the blond-haired boy finally speaks. “Go without me.”

“I don't like going anywhere without you,” Wooyoung frowns, over exaggerating. “I need my best friend of sixteen years with me.”

Yeosang raises an eyebrow at Wooyoung’s dramatics and sighs, “You have the other six, you’ll be okay. I’m boring at parties, anyway. I just sit to one side with one cup of alcohol the whole night.”

The younger boy sighs deeply, arms spread out above his head as he carries on being dramatic. He doesn’t say anything though.

“I’m sorry, Woo.”

Wooyoung just sighs again.

“Woo?”

This time, he sighs more heavily.

“Wooyoung, oh my God, stop.”

Another sigh.

“Fine, fine, I’ll come,” Yeosang gives in, throwing his hands up.

“Yay!” Wooyoung exclaims, sitting up abruptly. “Thank you, Yeosangie! We’ll have so much fun!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Yeosang decides he’ll just stick to Wooyoung or Jongho the whole night, whichever one that doesn't leave him alone. His bet is on Wooyoung leaving him.

“Okay, it’s at eight, so everyone’s meeting at Seonghwa-hyung’s and Hongjoong-hyung’s flat at half eight before we go. Make sure you’re ready by at the latest, eight,” Wooyoung’s voice is laced with excitement as the boy places a sloppy kiss on the older’s cheek and gets up to leave the room before Yeosang can groan at him.

Yeosang still groans into the empty room, wiping his cheek with his hoodie sleeve, but smiles despite this, seeing his best friend happy.

“You look fucking hot!” Wooyoung yells when Yeosang finally makes his way downstairs, a few minutes after eight. “What the fuck, Yeosang?”

The blond-haired boy is wearing a somewhat sheer, black floral shirt with the top buttons undone. The shirt is tucked loosely into black skinny jeans that hug his legs perfectly, held up with a black leather belt. He also wears black, leather ankle boots. Silver chains adorn his neck and wrists, while dangly silver earrings compliment his ears. He completes the look with smokey eyeshadow and a dark lip tint.

“Yeosang, wow,” Wooyoung is speechless, looking him up and down, looking like a proud parent.

But Yeosang’s not focused on Wooyoung. San is stood beside the other boy, looking absolutely breathtaking and the older boy can help but look over San’s body and San seems to be doing the same to Yeosang. They finally lock eyes and Yeosang quickly looks away.

He can’t be doing this right now. He will not think about San at all tonight. He’s going to drink as much as he can so he can forget. He wants to forget all the pain he’s been going through the past month and just have _fun_.

Wooyoung notices the change in atmosphere and sighs before saying, “Everyone’s probably waiting for us, let’s go.”

The walk to Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s place takes five minutes with Yeosang, Wooyoung and San living in flats opposite the flat the older two boys lived in. The buildings weren’t student accommodation, but they were popular living spaces amongst the students since the buildings were right outside campus.

The three boys find Seonghwa and Hongjoong waiting below the building, with Mingi, Yunho and Jongho already there.

“Finally,” speaks Hongjoong first, and all eight of them greet each other, having gotten together like this for the first time in weeks.

“Okay, so Hongjoong and I are the guardians? I guess? So we won’t drink much,” Seonghwa starts listing the rules he always had when they went to a party. “Curfew is 1am and no later. We’ll come look for you guys, but if possible, just meet us at the front door. And _limit_ your drinking or you’ll feel really sick tomorrow.”

The other six boys all voice their varying forms of agreement and once Seonghwa and Hongjoong are pleased, they start their way to where the party is being held, which is, luckily, also walking distance.

“Remember what I said,” Seonghwa reiterates once they’re in the house the party is being held in.

The group of eight disperse and Wooyoung grabs Yeosang’s arm, pulling him straight into the kitchen where the alcohol is. There’s someone manning the makeshift bar the younger boy apparently knows and the two greet each other.

“Anything to request?” The boy at the bar asks.

Wooyoung looks over at Yeosang who shrugs, not knowing what to order. He really can’t handle his alcohol so he avoids it as much as possible.

“Anything sweet and alcoholic for the both of us,” Wooyoung decides for him, pulling Yeosang to two empty seats at the kitchen counter.

“Coming right up!”

Yeosang looks around as he waits for his drink to be made. He sees a lot of familiar faces, so many people from his course here. The music booms throughout the whole house as lots of people dance or just move their body to the beat, some pressed up against each other.

Yeosang suddenly feels anxious, not used to the party scene. He doesn’t do well in social situations and he’s eternally grateful that Wooyoung’s with him right now.

“Here you two go,” the two drinks are pushed into both of the boys’ hands and Yeosang looks at the reddish-pink liquid in the cup.

Wooyoung nudges Yeosang, “Drink it. Just let yourself forget everything tonight, Sangie. Exam stress, work stress, relation—” Wooyoung stops himself mid-sentence. “I shouldn’t have brought that up, I’m sorry.”

The older boy shakes his head and smiles at his best friend, telling him it’s okay before he takes another look at the liquid in his cup and takes a big sip. There’s a slight burn as the liquid travels down his throat, but the sweetness masks it and Yeosang likes the feeling.

He doesn’t drink much, but when he does, it feels great.

“That’s my best friend of sixteen years!” Wooyoung cheers, tipping his cup against Yeosang’s before also taking a long gulp and making a face. “That’s really sweet, wow.”

The older boy grins.

Yeosang and Wooyoung both finish off their drinks and get another one, the younger opting for something stronger while Yeosang gets the same as before.

“Sangie, let’s dance!” Wooyoung suddenly says and Yeosang panics, shaking his head continuously.

“Woo, no, you know I don’t like being in front of crowds.”

There’s quite a bit of alcohol in Yeosang’s _weak_ system, but not enough to give him courage to dance in front of dozens of people.

Wooyoung nods and doesn't push it further, knowing Yeosang struggles with social situations.

“You go, I’ll wait here,” the older finally says, seeing Wooyoung subconsciously pout as his eyes glance around other people dancing. He feels bad for keeping the younger.

Wooyoung frowns, “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Just come back soon.”

The lilac-haired boy promises he’ll take no longer than ten minutes, kisses the top of Yeosang’s head and disappears into the crowd.

Yeosang decides to finish his drink while he waits.

Yeosang knows it’s been longer than ten minutes when the person at the bar asks him if he wants another drink. The boy hasn’t even finished off the cup in his hand, only having taken a few sips, even though his original plan was to finish it. But his mind feels fuzzy and he knows he’s tipsy, really close getting drunk.

That’s what he came to do, get drunk and _forget,_ but Yeosang declines another drink and leaves his mostly full cup on the counter as he leaves to go look for Wooyoung.

He’s getting anxious sitting alone.

The boy pushes through masses of bodies, trying to get to the living room, but before he can, a hand grabs his and pulls him closer to them.

“You look so fucking good tonight, Sangie,” a familiar voice murmurs into his ear once his back is against the person’s chest.

Yeosang breathes out shakily, not expecting to hear the owner of the voice ever speak his name again, let alone his nickname.

“How did you think you could look this good without getting me worked up?” San’s breath fans across his ear and cheek and then Yeosang comes face-to-face with his ex as he’s turned around.

“S—Sannie,” Yeosang is weak seeing San up this close, their lips barely centimeters apart. The alcohol in his body definitely doesn't help.

“Fuck,” the younger breathes, pushing Yeosang up against the wall behind him and Yeosang lets him, having missed his ex-boyfriend so much. “I really wanna kiss you again.”

Yeosang doesn't know what courage washes over him as he barely mumbles out, “Do it.”

This is all San needs before he’s pressing his lips against Yeosang’s, hands on the older’s hips. Yeosang doesn’t know what’s going through his mind and he doesn't care, because he’s getting the one thing he’s been missing for the past month.

Nothing else matters right now.

San pulls away for a second to tuck a piece of Yeosang’s hair behind his ear and whisper, “You’re so beautiful.” And then his lips are against the older’s again, this time more desperate than the first kiss.

“Sannie,” the blond-haired boy murmurs against the younger’s lips, threading his fingers in the hair at the bottom of the boy’s neck.

San takes this chance to push his tongue past Yeosang’s lips and kiss him hard, like they’re trying to make up for the past month.

Yeosang wishes they were.

The alcohol, the kiss and San’s fingers pressing into his hips don’t allow Yeosang to think, but he knows at the back of his mind that the kiss means nothing.

Yeosang whimpers, trying to push the thought back, but he can't. Yeosang and San aren't together anymore. San is drunk, probably not realising what he’s doing.

Unable to shake the thought from his head, Yeosang pulls away from the younger, pushing him away, “We’re not together anymore. You’re drunk.” Yeosang repeats the same two sentences continuously, his brain fuzzy, but able to comprehend only those two thoughts.

“Yeosang,” San frowns and reaches for the boy’s hand, but Yeosang steps away from him, trying to get away.

Yeosang is able to avoid San as he ducks around him to get out of the house.

He needs fresh air.

He can't do this right now.

Yeosang knows he's crying right now, his cheeks feel wet, but the only thing he can think of right now is how to get out of the house, far away from his ex-boyfriend.

He hears his name being called over the loud music, but he doesn't stop. He needs to get out.

Suddenly, a hand grabs his again and he tries to shake it off, “Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Yeosang, what's wrong?” It’s not San’s voice, it’s Wooyoung’s, so he relaxes, letting Wooyoung pull him into a hug.

“I can’t be here, I need to go, Wooyoung,” Yeosang gets out through sobs and he knows a crowd is gathering right now, but he can't bring himself to worry. He needs to get out.

Wooyoung doesn’t question any further, leading Yeosang out of the house. He feels the cool breeze hit his face, colder since it’s the evening, and since his face is wet.

Yeosang slowly sinks to the floor once they’re away from the house, not looking up to meet Wooyoung’s eyes. He’s still crying, but it’s subsided into quiet tears.

“Sang?” Wooyoung sits down beside him, his face close. “What’s wrong?”

“I just wanna go home.”

Wooyoung knows he won't get anything else out of Yeosang right now so he pulls out his phone to text Seonghwa, telling him he’s going to take Yeosang home. He doesn't wait for a reply, pocketing his phone.

“Come on, up we get,” Wooyoung pulls Yeosang up by his arms and they start walking down the familiar path that leads them home.

Wooyoung’s glad he only had one drink and that he’s able to take his alcohol well because Yeosang is in a completely bad state right now.

When they get back, Yeosang is completely worn out and he sinks into the sofa without taking anything off, closing his eyes.

“Sangie?” Wooyoung says softly, taking a seat on the floor beside Yeosang’s head. “What happened?”

Yeosang doesn't want to say anything, he just wants to sleep, but the genuine worry in his best friend’s voice causes him to open his eyes.

“I kissed San,” is all he says.

Wooyoung’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again, clearly at a loss for words.

“It was a mistake, I shouldn't have done it,” the older boy gets out in a whisper. “We’re not together anymore. It just reopened old wounds.”

The younger boy stands up and tells Yeosang to sit up. Wooyoung takes a seat where Yeosang’s head was and pulls him back down. He starts threading his fingers through the blond hair and Yeosang sighs, content, and closes his eyes again.

Yeosang is glad he has a best friend who knows when he needs words of comfort or actions of comfort.

“I’m sorry for ruining your night,” Yeosang mumbles after a few minutes of silence.

Wooyoung shoves the older’s head softly, offended, “I’d rather be here with you.”

The younger boy finally gets both of them washed up and ready for bed almost an hour after they got home. However, once Yeosang is in bed, he holds onto Wooyoung’s arm.

“Sleep here tonight?”

Wooyoung grins and gets into Yeosang’s bed, pulling the older boy closer to him.

Yeosang is glad he has Wooyoung.

*******

Yeosang wakes up the next morning, having gotten a decent amount of sleep, probably due to the fact that his bed didn’t feel so empty. He has a slight headache, but it’s not as bad as the hangovers he gets when he actually gets drunk.

“Morning, sunshine!” Wooyoung greets, a bright smile on his face.

The older boy squints his eyes and turns to face the younger. He sees Wooyoung’s scrolling through his phone, “What time is it?”

Yeosang knows it’s late, the sun shining brightly through his curtains, lighting up his room.

“Just past twelve,” Wooyoung informs. He reaches over and grabs Yeosang’s phone on his bedside table and hands it over, “You got a call from ‘Jewelers’ earlier.”

Yeosang sits up quickly, grabbing the phone out of his best friend’s hand, “What? When?”

Wooyoung looks at the older boy, raising an eyebrow, “Like half an hour ago?”

Yeosang quickly unlocks his phone and pressed on the missed call notification. He’s been waiting on this call ever since he placed the order for the necklace. He brings his phone up to his ear and it rings quite a few times, but someone eventually answers.

“Hi, how can I help you?” A male voice asks.

“Uh, hi,” Yeosang starts, clearing his throat. “I got a call from here like half an hour ago?” Yeosang looks at Wooyoung for confirmation and he nods. “Um, my name is Kang Yeosang and I’m waiting on a necklace.”

“Ah, Kang Yeosang, yes,” the voice on the other end of the line says. “Your necklace is finally ready to be picked up. If you come in whenever we’re open, you’ll be able to collect it once you make the final payment.”

“That’s great, thank you so much,” Yeosang grins, happy that he can finally get the necklace he’s been anxiously waiting to see. “I’ll try to come in today.”

“That should be okay,” the male voice replies. “See you soon, Mr. Kang.”

Yeosang hangs up and flops back down on his bed.

“Why are you buying a necklace?” Wooyoung asks, peering down at the older boy.

The boy doesn't answer, instead he says, “Do you wanna come with me to pick it up?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m free today,” the lilac-haired boy speaks, but then frowns. “But you haven't answered my question.”

Yeosang thinks for a few seconds, wondering if he should tell Wooyoung now or later. Wooyoung will probably yell if he tells him it’s for San. Or was for San.

“Get ready and then I’ll tell you in a bit,” the older boy decides. “It’s Saturday today, the shop will close earlier than usual. Go, quick, get ready.”

“Yeosang—”

“Quick, Wooyoungie!” Yeosang shoves the younger boy, maybe a bit too hard as Wooyoung falls to the floor with an audible _thump_.

“Ow,” whines the boy, pouting as he sits on the floor. “You’re so mean.”

Yeosang smiles slightly before letting out a laugh, “I’m sorry, you baby, but I promise I’ll tell you as soon as we get to the shop.”

“You better,” Wooyoung mumbles, rubbing his back as he leaves Yeosang’s room to get dressed.

The boy stretches for a few seconds in his bed and finally gets up a few minutes later. He washes up, brushing his teeth and having a shower, and gets his clothes on, ready to go outside once he’s done in the bathroom. Yeosang grabs his phone, keys and wallet and makes his way downstairs and into the kitchen.

He needs to take some ibuprofen for his slight headache so it doesn't get any worse.

When Yeosang steps into the kitchen, the first thing he sees is San standing at the cooker, making his breakfast. The younger boy looks up when he hears someone enter and upon his eyes landing on Yeosang, his eyes widen slightly and he quickly looks away.

Yeosang notices this and frowns, a slight pang of hurt in his chest. He sighs, deciding to quickly get out of the kitchen. It’s better if they don't confront each other about what happened the night before, it’ll just be awkward and further hurt Yeosang.

But Yeosang knows he wants to be confronted, to confront the younger, just so they can both acknowledge what happened. Just so Yeosang can know it wasn't because San was drunk and actually because he misses Yeosang.

Yeosang knows he’s a fool for hoping.

The blond-haired boy opens the medicine cupboard and takes out some ibuprofen. Instead of going to the sink to get some water, the boy opens the fridge and grabs his water bottle, opening it and downing the medication. The kitchen sink is near the cooker where San is standing right now, and the older boy wants to avoid him as much as possible.

“You shouldn't be having medicine on an empty stomach,” Wooyoung walks into the kitchen, dressed to go out.

“I’ll eat something in a bit,” Yeosang says sheepishly.

Wooyoung raises an eyebrow and then turns his attention to San, “Yeosang and I are going out, we’ll be home later.”

“Alright, see you later,” is all he says, not turning away from the cooker to look at them.

Yeosang is somewhat grateful for that.

When Yeosang and Wooyoung finally get to the Jewelers, Wooyoung whines, “Will you tell me now?”

The older boy doesn't answer and pulls him into the shop alongside him. They both walk up to the counter and wait for someone to come out.

“Yeosang!” Wooyoung is getting impatient.

“You’ll understand when you see it, okay?” Yeosang finally says and Wooyoung pouts, but doesn't speak any further.

The same woman who served Yeosang almost a month ago comes out from the back, “Hello, boys. What can I do for you?”

Yeosang pulls out a receipt from his wallet and hands it over, “I’m Kang Yeosang, I’m here for a necklace.”

She puts her glasses on and reads the piece of paper the blond-haired boy just handed over, “Ah, yes, one moment.” The woman disappears into the back again, but is out within a minute.

She opens the box and pushes it forward so the two boys can see.

“What?” Wooyoung is surprised, clearly recognising the necklace. San used to wear it whenever he could in high school, which was a lot. “Sangie, is this for San?”

Yeosang smiles sadly and nods, “I told you you’d understand once you saw.”

“It looks exactly the same! It’s beautiful!” Wooyoung is awestruck.

The woman laughs, eyes bright, “Why, thank you.” She takes the box back and flips the pendant over before pushing the box forward again.

The engraving.

“Yeosang...” Wooyoung whispers.

“It was for our anniversary.”

Before Wooyoung can say anything further, the woman speaks again, “I take it you’re happy with the necklace?”

“Definitely,” Yeosang says, eyes still on the piece of jewelry. It looks identical to San’s grandmother’s one.

Pleased, the woman takes back the box and closes it, quickly wrapping it up in some paper and slipping it into a gift bag, “If you could just pay the remaining amount, the necklace will finally be yours.”

Yeosang smiles and hands over his card. He types in his pin when he’s prompted to.

Once the payment goes through, Yeosang is handed back his card with a receipt, and finally the bag containing the necklace. The boy thanks the woman and the boys leave the shop.

Wooyoung finally asks the question that’s been on his mind since he saw the necklace when they’re finally out of the shop, “Are you gonna give it to him? You have to.”

Yeosang smiles at the excitement tingeing the younger boy’s voice, but his eyes are sad, “Probably not, Woo. I lost the chance to a while ago.”

The younger sighs, but doesn't push it further, “Is that why you got a second job?”

The older nods, “I wouldn't have been able to afford it otherwise. I quit that job almost a month ago though.”

Wooyoung puts an arm around Yeosang’s shoulder, pressing their cheeks together, letting go of the topic, “Let’s get lunch, my treat!”

Yeosang smiles.

*******

“Wooyoung!” Yeosang scolds, sighing. “Why did you ask me to study with you if you weren't going to, I don't know, _study?_ ”

“Hey!” Wooyoung looks up from the floor of the kitchen, offended that he’s being called out. “I studied for a good half an hour!”

Both Yeosang and Wooyoung are trying to get some studying done together before their exams after the weekend, Wooyoung on Monday, Yeosang on Tuesday. Both of the boys had completed one exam out of the three they had in their separate courses the past week, and Yeosang felt surprisingly good about the exam he did. He knows he at least passed.

“Wow, you did so much,” Yeosang teases. “That’s not enough time to get a chapter learnt, Woo, how will that much help you in an exam?”

The younger boy groans, spreading out in a starfish position.

“And get up, we haven’t mopped for a few weeks, the floor’s dirty.”

“We’ve been ordering takeout nonstop, we barely step foot in the kitchen other than mornings, it’s fine,” Wooyoung doesn't get up.

The blond-haired boy rolls his eyes, but it’s fond, “Suit yourself, you baby.”

Wooyoung sits up suddenly, narrowing his eyes at Yeosang, “You keep on calling me ‘ _you_ baby’, just call me only ‘baby’.”

Instead of eating the crisp that Yeosang is holding in his hand, he throws it at Wooyoung and it lands in his hair surprisingly, “Stop flirting with me.”

“Ew, gross,” the younger says, reaching up for the crisp and popping it into his mouth. “I would _never_ flirt with you.”

Yeosang frowns at Wooyoung’s actions, pointing at him with his pen, “And _that’s_ not gross.”

The younger boy doesn't say anything, falling back onto the floor again, groaning.

“Do you just not wanna study tonight?” Yeosang gives in. “You and I did study earlier separately.”

Sitting up, _again,_ Wooyoung’s eyes are bright and he agrees a little too easily, like he was waiting for Yeosang to ask, “Yeah! Let’s watch a movie!”

“Fine.”

They end up on the sofa, having ordered Chinese food, watching a movie Wooyoung chose on the Netflix account they stole from Seonghwa. They barely watch the movie, arguing about who gets what item of food when they find extras of something and stealing food from each other’s box.

“For fuck’s sake, Woo,” Yeosang shoves Wooyoung and Wooyoung just laughs. “Stop stealing all my beef!”

“What’s yours is mine, and mine is yours.”

“Fine,” the older smirks, stealing a dumpling right from Wooyoung’s chopsticks and eating it full.

Wooyoung cries out, “My dumpling!”

“What’s yours is mine, and yours is—” Yeosang thinks over the sentence Wooyoung just said, but just gets confused, muttering to himself. “Mine is yours? Yours is mine?”

“No,” the lilac-haired boy corrects, pointing at Yeosang with his chopsticks. “What’s yours is mine, and mine is yours.”

“Thank you,” Yeosang doesn't try repeating it.

The two best friends bicker for a bit longer and only stop when they realise the ending credits of the movie rolling up the screen of the television.

“We really argued through the whole movie,” Wooyoung states.

Yeosang laughs, “I can't believe we’re here watching movies, eating Chinese food and arguing about beef and dumplings when we have _exams_.”

“A little break doesn't hurt anyway,” the younger tells him, beginning to tidy away their food containers. “Stops us from burning out.”

“Leave the leftovers for San, he might want them when he gets home from the library.”

Wooyoung looks at Yeosang a little too long after he speaks those words, but Yeosang avoids the younger's gaze. Wooyoung agrees to the request anyway.

Once everything is tidied away into the recycling or the fridge, Wooyoung sits back down on the sofa, his head in Yeosang’s lap. Yeosang automatically starts running his fingers through the purple locks.

“You owe me for cleaning everything up.”

“You’re the best,” is all Yeosang says and Wooyoung doesn't say anything further either.

They sit in silence, just enjoying being in each other’s presence while something from Netflix’s autoplay plays in the background, and Yeosang feels at peace. More at peace than the last few weeks.

“How are you, Yeosangie?” The younger boy suddenly asks, turning slightly to look at him.

“I’m good,” Yeosang says. “Happy to be here with you.”

“ _No,_ ” Wooyoung insists. “Tell me really. How have you been the past few weeks?”

Yeosang opens his mouth to say he’s been fine, but closes it again and thinks about it. He hasn't been fine. The stress of exams and the hurt of not having San anymore, the pain has been unbearable. Wooyoung knows this too, having held Yeosang many nights while he cried, so Yeosang doesn't know why he’s asking.

“You know how I am.”

Wooyoung sits up and sighs, pulling Yeosang closer to him as he wraps his arms around his shoulders and Yeosang does the same with Wooyoung’s waist. He leans his head down on the younger’s shoulder.

“You know everything will be okay, right?” Wooyoung starts, fingers playing with his blond hair. “You’ll get past this, with me, with Jongho, with the other four by you, and everything will be okay.”

“I know, Woo,” Yeosang’s voice comes out in a whisper. “But I want that to be now. I don’t wanna hurt anymore. I miss him.”

“I know, Sangie, I know.”

*******

Yeosang sits in the living room, his laptop open on the coffee table in front of him beside his open textbook. His notebook rests next to both his laptop and textbook, as he sits on the floor, trying to get some notes and memorisation done.

He has his final exam tomorrow and then he’s done for the year. He just has to wait for his grades after, and if he fails some, retake the ones he failed, but he feels good about the last two exams he recently did. Really good.

“Are you happy with how your exam went?” Yeosang speaks into his phone, also placed on the coffee table in speaker mode.

“Hyung,” Jongho’s voice is bright, and a smile can be heard. “I am so happy. I feel so good, you don't understand.”

The younger boy finished his second exam earlier in the day and he’s been so excited since, messaging Yeosang nonstop. Yeosang replied when he was free, but he finally decided just to call Jongho so the boy could get all his excitement out.

“I’m proud of you, Jjong,” Yeosang is genuinely happy for his friend, glad that he’s finally not so stressed anymore, with only one exam left.

“Thanks, Yeosang-hyung!”

They talk for a few more minutes before both bid each other goodbye, needing to study for their final exams later on in the week.

Yeosang looks over at the clock on the wall of the living room and it reads half ten in the evening. He frowns, looking back down at his notebook, and sighs.

Wooyoung and San, being on the same course, finished their last exam today at around 3pm. Neither boy has been home since and it’s been a good seven hours. Yeosang knows they went out to celebrate and he can't help but feel hurt. He has his last exam tomorrow and the three of them were supposed to celebrate tomorrow instead. The boy knows it’s not possible now since he and San have broken up, but he still feels sad.

He also feels sad for Wooyoung, who’s stuck in the middle. He knows Wooyoung will apologise to him continuously later, telling him that the two of them will still celebrate after Yeosang’s exam.

It’s not the same though.

When the time starts nearing eleven, Yeosang hears a key in the door and laughter, happy and loud, muffled tune of song in the background.

He frowns.

Wooyoung and San enter the house, both smiling and bright and go straight into the kitchen, talking loudly to each other, not having noticed Yeosang in the living room.

“We’re done for the year, Youngie!” San cheers, holding his phone up which is blasting a song.

Wooyoung speaks, but Yeosang sighs angrily, trying to drown out all the noise so he can study. He has an exam in the morning.

Yeosang’s studying slows down massively, the boy unable to concentrate with all the noise. He can hear pots clattering now, and assumes they're making something to eat.

 _They can do it quieter,_ Yeosang thinks.

The noise doesn't quiet down though and it’s been over ten minutes. Yeosang finally breaks and stands up abruptly, marching into the kitchen, a scowl on his face.

“Can you be fucking _quiet?_ ” Yeosang seethes, startling the two boys. “I know you’ve finished your exams, but I have one tomorrow and I’m trying to study.”

Wooyoung and San both pause, looking at Yeosang neither boy blinking, the song playing on San’s phone being the only sound in the kitchen.

San is the first to speak and he’s blunt, “Not my problem.”

Yeosang finally gives up, letting his frustration get the better of him as tears fill up his eyes. He angrily rubs them away, but new tears fill in the place of the old.

“What the fuck, San?” Wooyoung’s mad too, tone short. He looks at Yeosang, “Sangie, we’re sorr—”

Yeosang doesn't let Wooyoung finish, eyes on San, “Why are you so _horrible_ to me? I did nothing to you.”

The blond-haired boy doesn't wait for a response, quickly walking out of the kitchen and back into the living room. He shuts his laptop, a little too hard, and he hopes he didn't cause any damage, but he can't think about that right now. He picks up all of his things and runs upstairs into his room, shoving everything into his backpack.

Yeosang pulls on a hoodie, grabbing his keys and wallet before rushing back downstairs. He gets his shoes on in record time.

He can’t be here right now. He’s too angry, too sad. He needs to focus on studying and then he can let his emotions take over tomorrow. He can't let them affect the one exam he has left.

“Yeosang!” Wooyoung yells out urgently, seeing Yeosang pull open the front door. “Where are you going?”

Yeosang doesn't bother replying as he leaves the house and walks down the hall. Wooyoung didn't do anything wrong, he didn't know Yeosang was in the living room and he apologised, but Yeosang can't trust himself to speak right now.

He pulls out his phone from his bag as he waits for the lift to arrive at his floor. The boy pulls up Jongho’s contact and presses on it, calling him. He brings the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, hyung,” Jongho picks up the call.

“What are you doing?” The lift arrives at the floor Yeosang is on and he enters, pressing the button for the ground floor.

“I’m still studying,” the younger boy lets out a deep sigh.

Yeosang balances his phone between his ear and shoulder as he shoves his wallet and keys into his bag so his hands are free, “I’m going to the uni library to study. Wanna come?”

Luckily, during exam season, the university library stays open twenty-four hours. Yeosang could not be more grateful for that than now.

“Coffee on you?” Jongho asks hopefully.

“I’ll transfer you the money,” Yeosang agrees. “Meet me on the first floor.”

Once Yeosang has transferred the money like promised after hanging up, he turns off his phone.

Jongho arrives at the library with two iced americanos almost fifteen minutes after Yeosang has. He sits down in front of the older boy who already has his things out, sliding the coffee cup over to him.

“Why are we studying in the library at almost midnight rather than the comfort of our own rooms?” Jongho asks curiously, taking a sip of his cold, caffeinated beverage.

The older boy looks up from his notebook, shrugging, “I was getting too comfortable at home. I really need to get these two last chapters finished now.”

The younger raises an eyebrow, knowing that Yeosang has a different reason, Yeosang is Jongho’s closest friend after all, but he doesn't question it further. He just pulls out the things he needs for studying, out of his bag.

They study for a few hours, making small talk in between. Yeosang tries to get Jongho to go home when the clock hits 2am, but the younger insists on staying to keep Yeosang company, telling him that he can just go home to sleep when Yeosang leaves for his exam because Jongho's exam isn't even until the day after. And Jongho in turn tells Yeosang he’s studied enough and should go home to get some sleep before his exam. Yeosang refuses.

Yeosang doesn't want to be around San right now. He just wants to finish his exam without any stress.

He doesn't tell Jongho that though. Yeosang refuses to keep on bothering the younger with his problems. He’s the hyung, anyway.

As an apology, the blond-haired boy even goes out at 4am to bring some snacks for the younger boy, feeling completely bad that he’s been keeping Jongho up the whole night.

“Do you wanna get breakfast before I go home to shower? The uni cafe opens soon,” Yeosang offers, not satisfied with just snacks as an apology. “My treat.”

Jongho’s eyes brighten, and he nods excitedly.

Yeosang grins.

The cafe opens at 6am and the boys get there a little after opening. They spend an hour at the cafe, Jongho encouraging Yeosang for his exam while they eat.

They finally bid farewell to each other at seven in the morning, having spent seven hours together. Yeosang thanks Jongho again and Jongho punches him on the arm, soft and teasing.

“Stop thanking me, I had fun,” he sighs.

Yeosang scoffs, “Fun studying with me for six hours without sleep?”

The younger grins, “Of course. Anything is fun with you.”

Yeosang smiles and pats Jongho on the arm and Jongho wishes the older boy luck again and they go their separate ways home.

The blond-haired boy gets home at quarter past seven and as soon as he steps foot into the house, he hears Wooyoung let out a scream before running to him and pulling him into a hug.

Yeosang is confused.

“How the fuck could you?” The lilac-haired boy pulls away and glares at Yeosang, eyes wet, before hugging him again tightly. “I thought you were _dead_. Why is your phone off?”

Yeosang’s eyes widen in realisation, remembering he turned his phone off after calling Jongho, not wanting to deal with anyone else. He was going to turn it back on later, but he forgot.

“I’m so sorry, Woo. I went to the library with Jongho to study and turned off my phone so I could focus. I forgot to turn it back on.”

“You should’ve let us know you were safe,” It’s not Wooyoung who speaks.

Yeosang looks over Wooyoung’s shoulder, the boy still holding onto him. San stands in the kitchen doorway, his eyes tired and red, hair messy, like he’d been crying.

The words San just spoke causes anger to bubble up in Yeosang’s chest and he pulls away from Wooyoung, a little too harshly, but he can’t think about anything other than what San just said.

“ _You_ have no right to be worried about me,” Yeosang points a finger at San harshly and San flinches, but takes a step forward anyway.

“Yeosang—”

“No, San,” the older boy stops him, tired and just done. This is the first time San has spoken to him since the night at the party. This is the first time San has spoken to him sober since their breakup. “Only my _friends,_ ” Yeosang points at Wooyoung as an example. “Can be worried about my safety.”

The blond-haired boy leaves it at that, running up the stairs before either one of the other two boys say anything else. He can’t think about this right now. He needs to shower and get to his exam within the next thirty or so minutes.

His shower doesn't take longer than fifteen minutes with the boy rushing. He’s dried his hair and gotten dressed in less than five, and packed his bag in less than one.

Yeosang looks at the clock and he has fifteen minutes to get to university. He sighs in relief, knowing he’ll make it in time.

He rushes down the stairs and is about to run out of the front door after getting his shoes on.

“Good luck, you'll do amazing!” Wooyoung yells from behind him, having heard him run down the stairs.

Yeosang turns around and smiles at the younger, thanking him before finally leaving for his exam.

He makes it with five minutes to spare.

“How was it?” Wooyoung pounces on him as soon as he steps through the door for the second time today.

Yeosang grins, “Really good. I’m happy.”

Wooyoung just hugs Yeosang, telling him that he knew Yeosang would do well. The younger boy pulls away and pinches Yeosang’s cheeks, “My smart baby.”

The older boy blushes at the praise and pushes Wooyoung’s hands away, whining, “Stop. I’m going to bed. I’m so tired.”

“Sleep well, baby!”

As Yeosang makes his way upstairs, he sees San’s bedroom door open and he can't help but look in. San looks up from his phone, noticing Yeosang. San opens his mouth to say something, but before he can though, the older boy turns away and goes into his room, dropping his bag and flopping onto his bed.

He really needs sleep.

When Yeosang wakes up again, his room is dark and he realises he slept into the evening. He leans over and turns his bedside lamp on for some source of light and then stretches. After he’s more awake, he reaches to the floor for his bag and pulls out his phone, switching it on.

Immediately, messages and missed calls start flooding in.

Yeosang looks through his notifications.

**_Missed Call: Wooyoung (26)_  
** **_Missed Call: San (31)_ **

The most recent missed calls are from Jongho, having called him two times after his exams. He opens Jongho’s chat before looking at any other of his messages.

**_Jongho  
_ ** _hyung  
_ _sorry for calling  
_ _u must be sleeping  
_ _i hope the exam went well!_

 **_Yeosang  
_ ** _hey jjong  
_ _it went well  
_ _im really happy  
_ _thank u for studying w me last night_

Yeosang closes Jongho’s chat and opens Wooyoung’s from last night.

**_Wooyoung  
_ ** _hey im sorry about just now  
_ _i promise we’ll be quiet  
_ _come home when u feel better  
_ _love u_

 **_Wooyoung  
_ ** _yeo?  
_ _its almost 1am  
_ _where are u_

 **_Wooyoung  
_ ** _yeosang this isnt funny  
_ _my calls arent going through either  
_ _why would u turn ur phone off when you're out this late_

 **_Wooyoung  
_ ** _yeosang!_

 **_Wooyoung  
_ ** _yeosang just pls turn on ur phone  
_ _sangie im worried  
_ _im really sorry  
_ _please come home_

 **_Wooyoung  
_ ** _yeosang im sorry im so scared please_

Yeosang can't bring himself to read any of the other messages, guilt washing over him for worrying his best friend. Wooyoung didn't do anything wrong.

He opens San’s chat next. This is the first time he’s received a text from him in over a month.

**_San  
_ ** _im sorry for being an asshole  
_ _i dont mean to  
_ _i really dont  
_ _its just hard  
_ _come home soon_

 **_San  
_ ** _hey sangie  
_ _woo’s really worried  
_ _i am too  
_ _please answer your phone_

 **_San  
_ ** _yeosang please_

There are a few other messages from San, but Yeosang doesn't bother reading them, anger washing over him again. He doesn't want to be angry anymore.

“Hey, Sangie,” there’s a knock at Yeosang’s door. Wooyoung peeps around the door. “Are you awake?”

“Hey, Woo,” Yeosang replies, holding his arms open for the younger boy. Yeosang doesn't initiate physical affection much, but he thinks Wooyoung deserves it after what he put the younger through.

The lilac-haired boy grins at the invitation, closing the door before quickly getting into Yeosang’s bed, cuddling up to the older, head on his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Yeosang whispers a little while later, fingers playing with the lilac hair.

“Hmm,” the younger hums. “What for?”

Yeosang frowns, sighing softly, “For scaring you last night.”

Wooyoung is quick to forgive him, like he always does whenever it’s Yeosang, “It’s okay, you’re safe. But if you ever do that again, we’re not friends anymore.”

The older smiles softly at the threat, knowing Wooyoung can't go minutes without talking to Yeosang, “I promise I won’t.”

They lay in silence, just happy to be in each other’s company. Yeosang doesn't know what he’d do without Wooyoung. He doesn't know life without the boy, being friends since they were four years old. He will always be grateful for the younger boy.

“Hey, do you wanna celebrate tomorrow? For finishing your exams? I know I already did with San, but I wanna with you, too,” Wooyoung starts, playing with Yeosang’s fingers. “Just us two.”

Yeosang smiles and shakes his head, “It’s okay, Woo, I’m okay. We’ll celebrate once we get our results instead.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

They’re quiet for another few minutes, Wooyoung breaking the silence again, “Also, don't get mad at me. It wasn't me, I’m just the messenger.”

Yeosang raises an eyebrow, “Go on.”

“Uh, San started cooking earlier in the evening and I thought it was cos he likes cooking, you know?” The younger starts and Yeosang already doesn't like where this is going. “And then later he told me to go get you and I realised he made dinner for us—for you.”

“No,” is all Yeosang says once the younger is done speaking.

Wooyoung nods, sincere, “I totally support you.”

But Yeosang feels angry again, angrier than before, it building up in his chest and he doesn't know what to do. He wants to yell at someone so that's what he decides to do.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Yeosang says suddenly, seething. He untangles himself from Wooyoung, ready to go downstairs.

Wooyoung grabs onto his arms before he can, “Yeosang, please no.”

“Let go, Wooyoung,” the older shakes his arm from the younger’s grip and opens his door, making his way downstairs.

Who does San think he is? What the hell is he doing? He broke up with Yeosang with no explanation over a month ago. He doesn't get to take care of him anymore.

“What the fuck, Choi San?” Yeosang yells as soon as he’s in the kitchen.

San’s at sink, washing up, and he startles hearing Yeosang’s loud voice. He turns the tap off and turns around, “What’s wrong?”

“Yeosang, please,” Wooyoung begs, having followed Yeosang down, pulling on his arm. “Leave it. Let’s just go upstairs.”

“What’s wrong?” San has the audacity to repeat.

Yeosang narrows his eyes at the younger and laughs, cold and short, “ _What's wrong?_ ” He asks and repeats, “You're asking me what's wrong?”

San doesn't say anything.

Yeosang finally bursts, the last month and a half of pent up pain, hurt, anger, finally exploding, “Let me fucking tell you what’s wrong, San.

“You broke up with me over a month ago with no fucking explanation when I _begged_ you to give me one. I _cried,_ asking you to tell me why, why you wanted to end something so good. But you _refused_. You refused to talk to me after breaking up with me. We avoided each other continuously and I just wanted answers. You gave me none for a month and then suddenly you kiss me? What the fuck?” Yeosang’s breathing heavily, but he doesn't stop. “You kiss me and then never mention it again and we carry on ignoring each other. And then yesterday, I just wanted some quiet so I could study, but you didn't care about that. You didn't care about me! You were just being spiteful. The man I’m still so fucking foolishly in love with after he hurt me, just continued to do so. But guess fucking what? I am still stupidly in love with you! And now what? After all that you’re trying to take care of me? You don't get to do that, Choi San!”

The older boy’s face is wet, the boy having started crying somewhere throughout the rant.

San looks at him, eyes wide and mouth open, disbelieving. He doesn't say anything, he just laughs, no humour, “You’re in love with me? Huh, funny.”

“Yes, I’m fucking in love with you, you asshole!” Yeosang wants to go up to him and hit him, do something to hurt him too, but he just stays rooted in his spot.

“If you were fucking in love with me, you wouldn't have cancelled on me so many times! You wouldn't have told me you were busy every time I asked to hang out! Don’t lie to me, Yeosang, you were falling out of love with me so I ended it before I could get hurt.”

“ _What?_ ” Yeosang says, speechless.

“What?” Wooyoung repeats from behind the older boy and suddenly realises, whispering harshly. “Yeosang, the second job! The _necklace!_ ”

And it suddenly all makes sense.

The necklace was the reason this was happening. The necklace was the root cause of everything. Yeosang had taken on a second job so he could afford the necklace, effectively losing most of the free time he had left. The free time he spent with San.

San felt like he was being pushed away.

Yeosang sinks to the kitchen floor, at a loss for words.

“See? You’re not even denying it,” San says softly, eyes sad and tired.

“ _Show_ him,” Wooyoung shoves a box in Yeosang’s hand and Yeosang doesn't even remember when the boy ran upstairs to retrieve the box.

Yeosang just places the box on the floor, pushes the box forward towards San.

San, confused, slowly steps forward and picks up the velvet box. He opens it and audibly gasps, almost dropping the box, “W—What?”

“Tell him!” Wooyoung mutters, annoyed at the lack of communication, pressing his foot into Yeosang’s back, not harshly, but also not that softly.

“The second job I got,” Yeosang starts, taking a deep breath. “The job that caused me to lose most of my free time, I got it so I could afford having that necklace made.”

San’s on the floor now, opposite the older boy, a few meters away. He’s crying softly, fingers tracing the stone of the necklace, “Why? Why would you?”

The blond boy doesn't look up, just looks at the kitchen floor as he speaks, “You always told me how much that necklace meant to you, how much it comforted you. I knew it wasn't the same, but I wanted to bring some of that comfort back to you. A new kind of comfort, of your grandparents and me. I don't know, it was dumb, but I wanted to do it.”

Yeosang doesn't know what else to say. Something that was supposed to make San happy, ruined what made them both happy. Yeosang just feels empty.

San slowly moves forward, closer to the older boy. They’re both crying, sniffling as tears fall down their face.

“Talk it out,” is all Wooyoung says before retreating upstairs.

“Y—Yeosang,” the younger boy stutters, moving his hand over the older boy’s. “I’m so sorry.”

Yeosang doesn't move, doesn't take San’s hand in his.

Despite all of this being miscommunication, it doesn't change the fact that San _hurt_ Yeosang. All of this could've been avoided if San just _talked_ to Yeosang like the older boy asked.

“I—I’m so sorry,” San hiccups, finally gathering up the courage to take Yeosang’s hand in his. “For everything. I should’ve talked to you, I know. But I was so scared. I already felt that I lost you so talking about it would’ve just made it feel more real. I didn't want it to feel real. I loved you so much. I still do. And then the night at the party, you looked so beautiful and I just started missing you more. I wasn’t drunk, Sangie, I just had half a drink. I really wanted to kiss you, to feel you again, and that was selfish of me, I know, but I couldn’t help it.”

They’re both crying hard now, San struggling to get his words out through the hiccups. Yeosang doesn't know what to say. San hurt him, yes, but the fact that the younger boy is in pain, too, just hurts Yeosang further.

“Sangie, I love you so much. I’m just a shit person who didn't know how to deal with the pain I was going through so I took it out on you. I’m a selfish asshole, I know, Yeosang, but I love you so much. I’m so stupid and I’m so sorry for hurting you like this. For hurting you when you just wanted to love me.”

Yeosang can’t take it anymore, hearing San cry like that, the hurt he's going through, so he pulls San closer, pulling him into a hug. San buries his head into Yeosang’s chest and just cries, holding onto the older boy, continuously whispering sorry. Yeosang just holds him tight and close, not wanting to let go.

Yeosang knows they need to talk further, clear everything up. What he doesn't know if they’ll ever go back to how they were before, so in love and happy. He also doesn't know if anything will ever be the same, that month of pain and anger stuck with them forever.

He doesn't know, but he also doesn't want to give up.

Nothing will be the same, but he knows that maybe, just maybe, within time, they can rebuild something different, something stronger than what they had before.

Yeosang doesn't want to give up on him and San.

**Author's Note:**

> san and yeosang havent gotten back together yet, but i'd like to imagine they do in the future, once they can trust each other again, and they come back stronger than ever!! and also wooyoung and jongho best boys :(
> 
> i hope you liked this!! it's the longest oneshot i've ever written. it's also kind of rushed because i just wanted to finish it bc 14k words is a lot :((
> 
> pls comment and let me know what you think of this mess of a fic. thank you for reading! <3


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